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She Reads Too Much
There are a million other things I should be doing with my time...cleaning my house, riding my motorcycle, cooking my family dinner, talking to my Mother on the phone. But I can't. I just....can't. There are too many good books to read.
The Prettyboy Mage #1: A Matter of Scale
The next Weird Shit We Read on Wednesday read! All welcome to join in and freak the fuck out enjoy!Discussion Thread
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REVIEW
In honor of this book the entire review will be written in italics!
I'm not entirely sure what the fuck I just read.
The writing was actually not bad at all, aside from the serious abuse of italics. But, I just. I don't know what happened. What was it all about? It felt like being dropped in the middle of the forest and told to find my way out. Via dragons, knotting and eggs.
So we've got a pretty boy mage who seems to dress like a girl and shave his legs with magic (which is, admittedly, very cool).
Okay. I mean, cross dressing and/or gender bending is not my favorite thing but I can deal for smexy times.
It seems this mage has a limited supply of magic that can only be replenished by sex. Well, okay then! This sounds like we could have lots of smexy times...
So pretty boy mage is riding through a strange land, all out of magic, when he finds a residence in a large crystal.
Wait, be right back. For some reason this review is making me want Spaghetti O's (with meatballs). I'm gonna make some right now...
Okay, I'm back. You don't know this because you are reading this review but it was a 4 minute break that involved a microwave, plastic utensils and a can opener that really should be replaced. I can't believe I'm 41 and have freeking Spaghetti O's (with meatballs) in my house.
Anyway.
In the crystal house our pretty little mage finds conjoined men...
That he somehow knows are shifters. When he calls them out they become a two-headed dragon.
These stupid dragon heads have the most annoying amusing banter that takes up pages and pages..
So then there is dragon sex, and something that might? be dirty talk? And knotting. And coming. And a dragon egg.
The sex wasn't even hot. It confused me. I was confused by sex. To be honest I'm not sure that's ever happened before.
After that we've got more dragon head banter, the pretty mage getting all his magic back, the pretty mage using all his magic up and riding away, a mysterious stranger at the door and...the end?
So while this was not terrible I was completely underwhelmed. I mean, come on - I made Spaghetti O's (with meatballs) while writing my review! I didn't even get annoyed enough to make a ranty review.
The final verdict? Read it. Or don't. It's okay with me.
And Spaghetti O's (with meatballs) really should NOT taste as good when you are an adult as they did when you were, like, 8.
