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TinaK

She Reads Too Much

There are a million other things I should be doing with my time...cleaning my house, riding my motorcycle, cooking my family dinner, talking to my Mother on the phone. But I can't. I just....can't. There are too many good books to read.

Currently reading

The Forsaken (The Survivor Chronicles #3)
Erica Stevens
The Skin Map
Stephen R. Lawhead

The Dragon's Lover

The Dragon's Lover - Declan Peacock I deserve an award for making it to the end of this steaming pile of horse-shit! I am physically and emotionally exhausted and am unsure what is so broken in my head that I started, let alone finished, what has to be the most epically hellaciously horribly written mass of words I have ever, ever read.



I mean! I should have known better with a book that starts with the following paragraph:

My Father loved to suck my big cock, but he didn't do it very often because my mother objected. She didn't think it was something a grown man should do to a teenager, even if it was his own son. Not that she ever caught him, but I heard her telling him once when they were talking about a neighbor who was rumored to do it with his son. He told me I should keep it to myself, something just between us guys, and I agreed. And why shouldn't I! It always felt so good when he did that! It was one of the few things about him I really liked.


According to my Kindle I have 28 highlighted passages. And I restrained myself. Seriously.

But how do you pass up saving for posterity shit like this:

Drake put his other hand on Eric ass and started rubbing it until he found his hand right in the crack. He explored that crack a bit more until he had a finger right up Eric's hole. Eric was clearly in ecstasy, but he pulled Drakes hand away. “Not now,” Eric said, I don't want to end up shooting another load here in the pool. Let's wait until after we eat before we even think about having more sex."

That was fortunate, because I learned something new about were-dragons. It was the thing Emelda had been concerned about. While werewolves have to bite someone for them to turn into a werewolf, a were-dragon only has to have sex with the person. It doesn't seem to happen the first time, or even the second, but after many weeks and many sex sessions, usually about three months, of having sex with a were-dragon, the person will become another were-dragon. Now that may not sound too bad to you, but here is the problem: dragons are very territorial and can't stand to have another male dragon anywhere in their territory. So as soon as one of my lovers starts to change, I have to send him off to live on his own. And I'm afraid that will happen to you in a few months and I will lose your love as well,” said Eric with a tear in his eye and a catch in his throat.
They all hugged and kissed, then Eric led them to the pool to wash up. “I'm hungry after that session of sex!” he said, “I've never done a three-way before. It was really great! We will have to do it regularly now that I know how great it can feel, and now that we have a third sexy were-beast to be part of the group.” “I'll second that,” added Drake, “I love having sex with Eric, and having sex with Ingo was great too, but I really enjoyed having sex with both of you in the same session!” “I'll be happy to come back for more sex in the future,” laughed Ingo, “I really liked it also and I'm already getting fond of you two handsome guys even though we just met today. It's also great to have two other were-folk to hang out with. I'm sure we are all going to be good friends and sex partners.


What was killer was you just knew this is supposed to be taken seriously as an erotic story. And it's utterly impossible to do so. I laughed so damn hard while reading this I spit water out twice and I think I gave myself a hernia. Additionally I used up nearly every single laughing gif I had. I had to break out almost all my Cobert gifs.

If the sex had been even remotely hot I would have given it 2-stars. But the cardinal sin or erotica was committed here.

No hot sex.



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