She Reads Too Much

A review

Entirely in gifs for your viewing pleasure

GOOD DAY SIR! BUY MOER SHIT PLEASE!

No!

No!?

YES!



Fucking brilliant!

All my peeps have this as a TBR but no one has actually read it! I can't guinea pig again. My last two were duds.



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Okay, so this was pretty good. I liked both characters, the sex was amazingly hot and kinky which is ermahgerd!



I didn't fully buy into the quickness of the relationship, I called the big secret very shortly after starting the book and there were some major plausibility issues I had.

But....

But....

The sex? Again I say ERMAHGERD!

Also, the actual relationship was sweet and that surprised me quite a bit. I would have liked the book to be a bit longer, perhaps the kink just explored just a bit more but yeah. What ever.

Fucking hot.

I approve.

Because I've seen some good reviews. And I've read excellent and horrible reviews for other books by this author (and his several pen names) and now, damnit, I'm curious.

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What in the fuckity fuck did I just read?

First off, the age range was too young for me - just 18. And Mitchell acted much, much younger. Made me very uncomfortable the entire time.

But I wanted to continue reading because I thought the premise of the story was intriguing. How would an author handle a relationship with a young man who had an incredibly small penis. Because let's be real folks, not every man is hung like a romance hero.

So I guess my first mistake was thinking there was going to be a romantic relationship. Because there wasn't. Yeah, Mitchell hooked up with Tadd but I wouldn't call it a relationship. I'd call what happened between them downright fucked up. In fact, Tadd scared me. Like stalker, psycho scare me. Like, dude, you need a restraining order immediately scared me. The whole if his "love" for Mitchell was based on his tiny, tiny dick. He's got a serious anger/violence management issue. And he's possessive. Not in the sexy grrrr mine way either.

The family relationships were dysfunctional, with two utterly self absorbed parents and one self absorbed brother who was a plot bunny if I've ever met one. The friendships were dysfunctional. The coach was dysfunctional and actually needed to be arrested and suspended from his job because of his treatment of Mitchell.

In fact at one point I was pretty sure it was going to be revealed that this was just one elaborate dream Mitchell was stuck in. It was that bizarre.

All of the shit dumped on Mitchell could have been used as a catalyst for growth but sadly he's the same character on the last page as he is on the first. Mitchell hates himself, has no self confidence, has poor social skills and absolutely no ambition.

Kudos to those who liked it. Obviously it wasn't my cup of tea. I think I'll avoid this author and his various pen names. Thanks.

I enjoyed this book though I didn't love it. For me, sadly, there were a few too many kicks to the face and not quite enough picking up until the very end of the book.

Every time things started to look up for Tommy and the kids, life kicked him in the nuts again. And while I knew that all would work out in the end I was kept feeling unsure for pretty much the whole book. It was kind exhausting.

Yes, this book is about hope, trust and overcoming. It's about honestly good people. It's about the strength of family and self sacrifice. It's about love.

Bobby and his mother were wonderful people. Tommy was rough around the edges. And I liked them all.

I just didn't love anything.

But that's okay. It was a good book, just not for me.

I just made a tentacle shelf.



What has this world come to?

Group read with the Weird Shit Group.





I was looking for some hawt pr0n with tentacle sex.





What I actually got was a well written plot summary and/or notes. To say this story was too short is an epic understatement. There was so much unrealized potential here I wanted to scream. I wanted to know more about the actual tentacle monster, I means it seems to me they only came out when he was aroused? Fascinating.

Why did his parents leave?

Where was Ankit all those years?

If he's not going to do the capture thing what will he do?

Where was the simmering tension? Why didn't Ankit get on his kness and beg? Why was there NOT ENOUGH DETAIL IN THE SEX?

So many unanswered questions I was left feeling like I read a proposal for a story, with a sample, rather than the whole story.

If it was fully fleshed out and longer the rating would have been much higher.

So, weird but not shit.

I returned this after listening for about an hour. Hearing every single detail of every action, every thought...every name of every piece of equipment in his pack. I just couldn't take it any more. I was going to cry blood.

I literally spent the last two hours of this audiobook in tears. Crying out loud, tears.

On Goodreads, I don't get political. Personally I don't feel this is the right place for it. While I respect others that might; I simply don't feel the need to engage in that sort of discussion with pretty much anyone. Because I've found that most people's political (like their religious) beliefs are deeply held and resistant to change. Again, I respect that.

So I won't engage in a political discussion about this book. I will, however, explain why this book impacted me so deeply.

I hold the United States Military in the highest regard. Government? Politicians? Not so much.

The men and the women who volunteer their lives to protect the country I love? The people who lived their personal and private lives with respect, honor and dignity - I will never speak a bad word against.

My father was a U.S. Marine. My husband served in the U.S. Navy and now serves with honor in the Air Force. My father-in-law, my brother-in-law and my son are all either U.S. Air Force veterans or currently serving. My father-in-law is a veteran of the first Gulf War. My close friends include retired Army Rangers, retired Navy Seals, current Air Force officers and enlisted and even a Coast Guard officer. To say I am pro-military is to make a understatement so great I don't even have the words to express it.

What this book was to me was a look into the heart and soul of an American hero.

Marcus Luttrell takes us on a winding journey at first; back and forth between present time, his childhood, his Seal training and what was present day. We learn about the heart of a Seal in general, the heart of one Seal in particular. The heart and soul that allow a man to walk deep into hostile, enemy territory because he believes he is doing right and defending his country. The type of heart and soul that keeps a man fighting as his brothers fall and die beside him. The type of heart and soul that helps a man with severe injuries fucking crawl almost 5 miles on an Afghan mountain. The type of heart and soul that I can barely comprehend. That you, if you are honest, can barely comprehend. Or we'd be there too...willing to pay the ultimate price for the United States and her people.

I learned more about terrorism (from a man who has looked terrorists in the eyes) and the history of Afghan tribes from this book than I've leaned from the media or politicians since September 11, 2001. I discovered how the media impact warfare. How politicians who have never set foot in a hostile environment influence command and control. I discovered the deep integrity and honor with which some Afghan tribes operate. And the ruthless warfare the Taliban engage in.

Perhaps this book is preaching to the choir, though I wish everyone would read/listen to it.

Because while it is political it is also written to honor the heartfelt sacrifice of the men who perished during Operation Redwing. Men who were husbands, brothers, fathers and sons. Men who decided to risk their lives so that I can be free and safe. Men who deserve to be remembered (as do all of our fallen soldiers) for all eternity for doing so.

While the movie that is based on this book does follow quite well, there is so, so much missing. Much that deserves to be read, understood, pondered.

As I said previously, people hold their political and religious beliefs closely and deeply. It is my hope that they do not hold them ignorantly, taking the word of talking heads in media or government as truth. If I could wish one thing it would be that people would gladly take it upon themselves to be educated in their opinions. Research. Listen to opposing views. Most opinions have a grain of truth and the truth is not always something that we want to hear. However, we as a people, as a nation, need to understand what goes on around us. We need to understand current affairs. We need to understand history. We need to comprehend how it all ties together.

Or it all falls apart.

I highly recommend this book/audiobook to everyone.

P.S. The narrator did a phenomenal job. I've seen and heard many interviews with Luttrell and I felt like it was the author himself narrating the book! Well done and bravo! I was mesmerized for over 16-hours.

Wow.

Just wow

This shit is honestly awful.

Awful.

And why does the chick on the cover have Uggs on?

Whoa!

Worst of the bunch.

Seriously.

Tentacle sex.

And monster sex.

And human sex.

WTF!

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.



Read with some members of the Weird Shit group. 'Cause we obviously have very few boundaries.

Book One: I've Fallen and there's a Tentacle in my Butt review here

Book Three: I've Fallen and There's a Tentacle in My Butt, and it's Even Bigger Than Before review


These books were awful. I'm emotionally exhausted, and slightly drunk, after reading them. It literally took a whole bottle of wine. My husband is going to have questions.

"Honey? Why are you drunk at 6:30 on a Wednesday night?"

"Well, see...there were these tentacles...."



P.S. I've edited this damn thing soooo many times. It's hard to type on an iPad when you're drunk. Trust me on this.

Very poor reviews.

Today I learned several very interesting facts!

1. Tentacle monsters feed on sexual vibrations.
2. Sexual arousal has vibrations.
3. Tentacle monster slime smells like vanilla extract. (WTF??)
4. Severed tentacles have deep human-like emotions.
5. To best catch a runaway severed tentacle you should roam town fondling your own genitals.
6. Don't fall down around tentacle monsters.

I really don't have much to say about this. I mean, it's poorly written and full of what the fuckery. So if you like that you should enjoy this.

In case you're on the fence, here are a few teasers...

"The severed tentacle quickly escaped from the building to the outside world as Margaret witnessed its escape route. She ran out after it and jumped on the ground to grab it, but it slipped out of her hands due to its slimy exterior.

"Slippery suckers," she said, with a grin on her face, enjoying the thrill of the chase."

********

"The tentacle was to fast and it had a lot of stamina. It would be difficult for one person alone to outwit the creepy crawly extremity."

*********

"The tentacles are attracted to sexual vibrations," she said. "So while you are searching for the tentacle, I would suggest you fondle your genitals to give yourself the advantage."

Everyone laughed.

"I am serious," she said, with a straight face.

Everyone stopped laughing and stiffened up.

"We need to capture the tentacle before it attaches itself to a host," she said. "If it does, then the tentacle will rapidly incubate and develop into a full tentacle creature."

"What is the host?" someone said.

"A human orifice," she said. Someone chuckled. "This is serious!" she shouted. "You may think it is funny now, but you won't if the tentacle enters one of your holes."

Everyone had a concerned look on their face. They gulped and looked at each other.

"So, I must warn you," Margaret said, smiling. "When you smell a sweet scent in the air and hear sucking and slurping, you had better cover your pie holes. "

*********

""Oh, my pussy is so wet for you," she said. "Fuck me, now!"

Jenny immediately fell to the floor and felt a sharp pain in her ass. One of the tentacles had anchored itself into her anal cavity. Her eyes immediately dilated. She looked down and saw the tentacle embedded in her ass. More tentacles surrounded her. She screamed at the top of her lungs.

Matt rushed down the hallway back to the lab and opened the door. He looked down at Jenny in disbelief. "What is going on?" Matt shouted. "Are you OK?"

"I've fallen and there's a tentacle in my butt," Jenny whimpered. Matt slowly walked toward her. "Hold still, I'm going to get it out of you." Matt rushed over and grabbed the tentacle that was fused to her anus and tugged furiously.

"Ouch! Have you lost your mind," she said. "That hurts."

After he stopped yanking on the tentacle, another tentacle slid up his pant leg and took him to the ground as it anchored itself into his anal cavity.

"See what you've done," she said. "You've pissed them off.

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Sadly, another miss for me by this author.

Nothing horrible about the book but there were a lot of times I felt as though I was reading lists. Lists of emotions. Lists of actions. Lists of events.

I never quite felt the grief these three characters were feeling after the loss of Kevin. While I bought the connection between Jack and Kevin and actually really appreciated the path their relationship took, the slow burn, it never felt like a romance. The entire book was actually more like a family drama.

And as a family drama it worked alright.

However, for me, it fell flat as a romance. If I remember correctly, there were like two brief kisses in the entire book and I know for sure there was no on page sex.

So while it wasn't my cup of tea and I didn't feel like it was a romance, other people may enjoy it as a family drama.

I'm hanging up my guinea pig hat for awhile.